Eschew vodka. It's GIN, do you hear? GIN! GIN! Anything else is sacrilege. Don't even THINK of appletinis or chocotinis. Those are for amateurs and poseurs. Also, vermouth is a must, as it is the civilizing aspect of the drink. Don't forget to add some orange bitters for balance. Just a touch makes a real difference.
Next, contrary to what James Bond recommends, STIR, don't shake. Stirring creates a taut, cold surface without ice shards. Lastly, choose the perfect glass for presentation, and add a lemon peel rather than olives.
Now, before we imbibe this miracle of deliciousness, we need to earn it with some excellent bidding.
